True Friends

I have blogged about true friends last time( When I was less matured). Now I bring a different angle towards it.
When you have true friends by your side, it gives you the sense of security and completeness.
Having a true friend allows you to put down your defence walls. Allows you to share your inner thoughts. Allows you to be who you are not not masking around your true self. Allows you to express who you truly are inside.

Realise this as well, the people who hurt you the most are usually your true friends. Why? Because we have got so close that we expect most from them. In life we sometimes forget that we are only human, and we make mistakes. So when we do something wrong, it would disappoint the other most for they expect more from you. It is normal. =)

Whatever they do, seems to have big impacts on you. Life can be awesome all the way, but once you have that bond, your true friends becomes what makes your life awesome. They have a significant piece of your life and you have a significant piece of theirs.

The best part about true friends is that no matter what the problems they face, be it crushed, stepped down, kicked, or being stabbed in the back, they are by your side ready to provide their shoulder to you. They stand by you always. They listen to you, take in your crap, for they understand you. We need true friends in our lives =).
So when the friendship is put to the test, the joy out of every argument or fight is that they know, that the friendship shall grow stronger, they shall forgive each other, and continue to love one another.
I have many friends, but few true friends.....And I will never, let them go.
A real friend is loyal and sticks closer than a brother/sister. Loyalty makes a person attractive, it is better to be poor than dishonest. Wounds from a sincere friend are better than kisses from the enemy.

Being Human Honestly =)

The Lord had to break me so many times to teach me. With His grace and mercy I embrace it.
Yes I do feel bad and guilty but I understand the meaning of His forgiveness.
Bible says in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins, He our faithful God will forgive us....and PURIFY us. See the word there? Purify, cleanse us, clean us from all impurity. That is the beauty. I am only human, I stumble so many times until I cannot count no more. But the Bible also says, in 2 Corinthians that His grace is sufficient for us and that His power is made perfect in our weaknesses. See what I am telling you?  Humans, are weak in almost every aspect. But God ables us to do things. I am weak! I boast in my weakness! To show you how God will work through me to do amazing things. It depends on Him, I depend on Him.
Through that, Glory is given to Him.
When we are weak, He gives us strength.
When we say we cannot do it, He says my grace is sufficient for you.
When we say I am not able, He says I am able.
When we say I am not love, He says I love you.
When we say I am all alone, He says I will never leave you nor forsake you. 
He is ceterius paribus( constant )

I am merely human, nothing but a lump of clay....But God loves this lump of clay and I will love Him too.

Lord I thank you for always being there for me, for giving me the wisdom and guidance. I thank you for giving me talents and skills that is a blessing to many. I thank you for the friends you have given me.....
Now Lord I do not wanna always pray for myself. I wanna pray for my friends and family, my church,the country too. I do not always need to pray for my needs because I know so well you would provide them. Trust in you and everything will fall into place. Patience you give me, I finally have. I may not see your full purpose for me but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Little by little you are giving me understanding. Thank you lord.
Jeremiah 29: 11 says " For I know the plans I have for you are good and not for disaster, to give you a future and hope"

My Testimony(My Grandmother)

So lately I haven't been updating my blog. I'll tell you why now. After my finals, I had to go to Penang, to visit my ill grandmother. My mother was pestering me and my brother to hurry back afraid she would not make it. My friends could see it in my face that I was troubled. So I did go to Penang with my friends on one Sunday morning. BTW, my grandmother suffered from cancer of the pancreas.
Seeing my grandmother...
I was in shock, she was so frail and thin. I ask her how was she and she replied " What do you think?". I said " You look, very thin grandma" and she nodded. She was really weak. The next day she could not speak at all. She had no energy to open her eyes or even utter a word, just moan. My mother was taking care of her for the pass three weeks. I came and helped her out. My mum was teaching me how to take care of her and asked me to do it. Amazingly my grandmother was recovering. The next day she could talk. After that she could read the newspaper and started giving instructions to clean the house, wipe the windows and all. An indication she was very alert indeed.
The Challenge...
Came one morning, my mother received a call...to return to Melaka(my hometown) for sign an option letter where the government has introduce their service till 60 years old. She would be gone for three days. My mum, looked at me and said " You take care of grandma okay?", I said okay. So she taught me, what kind of milk to make, what supplements to add, how to feed her, how to carry her, stay with her. I had to sleep by her side. I took up that challenge
             As any other teenage kid, one would be reluctant to take care of an old ill person. I'd be honest with you, it is not something to look forward to. Out of love, I stayed back and cared for her. The next three days without my mother was indeed challenging for me. I had help from my grand aunty and uncle.
The Emergency...
The first day, morning went fine, I fed her her breakfast, medicine, let her brushed her teeth, carried her to the portable toilet. Till afternoon around 4.20pm when she asked to pass water, and as I carried her, she fell back down to the bed breathing heavily. Her tummy was too painful(from the cancer) till it was unbearable. I panicked  a moment. Called my aunty and uncle to come and help. I called my mum feeling despondent at the moment. All I knew was what to do. Obviously for this case I could not handle an emergency crisis. So I administered morphin to her and her pain killer meds. That was all. The next days were tough, she would not eat, she was sleepy, she was very weak....I applied 'minyak angin' on her tummy as she liked it.
The perfect irony
On the second day, that night I called my mum " Mum I just dont know what to do already please come back quickly" as I felt something was a miss, my grandmother was just so weak compared from before. That night I fed her and she could barely eat. Her stomach pain was somewhat gone but she developed a cough. At 3 a.m she woke me up. I asked whether she needed water, she nodded, I gave her a cup and then she did not want to drink. Then I asked her what she wanted, and she began mumbling. So all I did was pat her back so that she could cough. I administered physiotherapy on her back but she had no energy to even cough. I asked her what she wanted but she did not respond. She just shook her head. so I off the lights and just continued patting her back. It was all I could do. I stopped after ten minutes. I could not sleep. I was checking up on her every moment. I felt the angel of death near. That morning I woke up at 7.50 a.m. I saw her eyes were wide open and I thought I woke her up. I called out to her but did not respond. She was cold. She was...not breathing anymore. I woke the whole house up, they all confirmed she was gone. I was, shocked.
I called my mum.." Mee( what i call my mum), grandma pass away already..."
The irony, on her last night, none of her children were with her, my mum in Melaka, my aunty caught up in workload , my uncle was away.
The Lesson
I am grateful to have the chance of bonding with my grandmother. I had to chance to take care of her. I had the chance to love her. I had a chance to really know her from the testimonies of her church members.
While she was alive, I prayed for her, shared the Word with her. Words of assurance like Matthew chapter 6:28 " Not to worry...". Or in Corinthians 12:9 " My grace is sufficient...".
Who can straighten a road God has made crooked. In Jeremiah 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you are good and not evil, to give you future and hope.".

What do we know about a relationship?

What do we really know about relationships? You claim we know them, but...Do we? Do we really understand the administration and decrees of a relationship? People today just get into a relationship and when asked the question 'why?'....They can't seem to answer.

Do we know what we are getting into actually?

These days all I see are people getting together and breaking up. Sad scene indeed. 

When you say you like someone and they like you back, is that a reason to get into a relationship? Probably, but are the premises strong enough to make it lasting? You may also say " She/He is loving, caring , generous, kind, sweet, fun,etc....that is why I like her/him". True. These may be the reasons. If he/she was not that way initially, you may not fall in love. But, that is just the surface on getting onto a relationship don't you think? The other factors that come in are like time, how you compromise, how serious are you, objectives, motives and so on. I mean like, you say you found " The One" I say, "The One" only plays half the part of a relationship, the next part that comes in is commitment.

"

I have said it a thousand times before, from my knowledge, the main destroyer of relationships is selfishness. If one is selfish, they will only think of themselves and not their partner thus, the relationship never progresses.

Another factor is preference in relationship. Are you the type that you hv to find a girl that is compatible at every aspect or using the concept 'opposites attract'? Are you the type that wants experience getting into a relationship or just having one person forever.

The issue here is, do we know what we are getting into? Is there significance in your decision when you say you want to get into a relationship?

Is what you are saying "I like/love him/her" really what you meant or based on feelings rather than adding in analyzation as well?

I myself do not know what getting into a relationship really mean. For me I would say...Why get into a relationship if you do not see any proper clear future ahead. You get into a relationship out of flattery? out of pity? Out of peer pressure? Out of conformity? Out of the fact that people say you look good together?

Think about it. I do not wish to bore you any further, but just think....=) Peace out!

FYI, it is not wrong to get into one, but just know what you're getting into.

Do we truly know Him/Her?

Before I begin, the title that started with a 'him' instead of 'her' has nothing to do with sexism.

There is only so much we can know about a person. Truth be told no matter how much one can disclose, there is always one part of a person that you do not know. The secret background of the person. The unknown. The thing is, we are never truly ourselves when we are in the public. Even with your best friend, there is always that 10% of you that you may be hiding, be it consciously or not. We put on a mask for the world to see everyday. 

Let me tell you the moment when I can be truly myself is when I am with my family.

You may say you know the person. True, but only to a certain extend. The person next to you may be a ex-convict, the person opposite you that wears pink pants is actually a PhD holder, the person going crazy jumping around can be a Motivational speaker. You never know. =_=(yup you never do).

People see me as outgoing always so joyful and happy and carefree( actually I look carefree but I am not). They know I have a loving family. Do they know me? Have I told anyone  anything of me? People do tend to judge saying I have a good life and nothing happens to me, I do not understand what they go through cause I had it perfect, easier said than done, blah blah blah.... Hey, may I say that I have my own set of problems that you do not know and probably will not know cause it is unnecessary to tell you what I go through in my life everyday.

Let me tell you this... My life on Earth is partly to make people happy( a small portion of my life mission in layman language.)  It is indeed blessed and fun cause no matter what, I try to make the best out of it even though I fall sometimes. Me, believing my needs are met every time, I choose to bless others If I am capable. I have not much wants and I want to 

So this is it peace out. Remember There is only so much we can know about a person.

To Err is Human

We....are.....only...human.

 We are nothing but a lump of clay. 

We are imperfect in many ways yet beautiful. 

Everyone has their own problems not only you. If you observe a little more, you will see that everyone wants someone beside them when they are sad, everyone just wants company, everyone needs answers, everyone is searching for the right thing, not only you.
We continue to do wrong, and judge, condemn, compare, be ignorant, be insensitive and lose ourselves along the way. We are only HUMAN and no doubt we all need help. Remind yourselves that no one is in control. We cannot control the circumstances that happens to us. Everyone has their own little cry in their hearts that needs to be mended.

We get hurt, we have broken families,  we all get lonely, we all have trouble letting go, we all go through SHIT. 

All of us go through all of this at some point in life. But is the answer to get all worked up over it? Be depressed? Get mad? Act as if everything is falling apart? Indeed no. I lost myself this week being overwhelmed by situations that are out of my control but still I pulled though although not in my best moment.

Try, being more sensitive towards your surroundings. Being sensitive helps you to be empathetic. Being empathetic helps you to understand and thus learn that sometimes, it is not all about you, it is not just you. 

(P.S: I am not referring to anyone if you are asking)

For me God has always met my needs when I am there for others. I do not have to worry.
He cares for you. He loves you. He will provide for you.
To err is human, to forgive is divine.

Wallet Lost and Found

Before I begin, lets just say I had the best Deepavali ever!!! All Thanks to Sasi. So As you have read the headlines...I lost my wallet for a moment.Yeap
So I was on my way to my University which is HELP. After hanging out with my friends for about one and a half hours I noticed my pocket was flat. I was like " Oh My GOSH!!!! I lost my wallet!!!" I searched high and low , up and down, everywhere and concluded it fell somewhere. Last move is to call my brother. The whole time I was telling God " What you want to teach me? What is this? Ok ok I'll praise you in the storm no matter what." So I kept praising God. Then God gave me peace and I was calm. I was reminded that we should rejoice in all circumstances in the Bible. I said to myself " Ok God whatever it is, You are in control.". So i called my bro.

Me: Ko, I lost my wallet

Bro: Oh My Gosh........

Blah blah blah....concluded that a police report is needed to be made.
He came with his wife, i told him to go to the bus station making an assumption that i left my wallet in the bus. We drove there and went to the headquarters
The next conversation are actually in Bahasa Malaysia

Me: Sir, have you seen a wallet white in colour anywhere around in the bus?

Bus Driver: Ask the drivers around

Me: Er,... The bus driver is not here

BD: Oh you mean the fat one with a cap?

Me: yeah yeah!

BD: He is not here yet...you hold on ya?

Just as he said that, 5 seconds later the bus came. I ran towards it and waited for him to come out.

Me: Sir did you see any wallet in your bus earlier?

BD: What colour is it?

Me: White

BD: You serious?!?!

Me: Serious?!?!?!

So we went searching in the bus and my sister-in-law went to the place I sat and GUESS WHAT.....
The Wallet was there~!!!! Untouched, everything was still in it! Praise the Lord. Woohoooo! Miracle. The whole time no one took it. Filled with joy I rejoiced hahah.
Lost and Found, my wallet......